a weekend reflection.
to be perfectly honest, this might be the first time in a long time i really got to enjoy a traveling work trip. it's not that my past work trips haven't been filled with a broad realm of opportunity, experiences and wonderful people. it's just that "finding adventures" in the outdoors, particularly in mountains while soaking in the world's beauty is what makes me feel most fulfilled.
it wasn't but eleven months ago, i was meeting mack at the denver airport. what went from casual airplane chat eventually blossomed into her becoming a mentor to me in all things photography and business. but even more, she's become a confident i've been able to share all the things, with open doors and without a fear of judgement. so needless to say, i was especially excited to share the weekend alongside her. it's really good when you find friends that just get one another. particularly our need for silence after a long day.
over time, i've learned that it's a very characteristic trait of photographers to eventually despair of all energy after a lengthy day of shooting. it's hard to explain, other than we've become so focused on our every detail from the light, the sun, the exposure, depth of field, settings, the posing and so forth - that eventually we become mentally exhausted. RBF is the term some may quote. fatigue might be the other.
it's not that we don't want to talk, it just feels nearly impossible to hold a conversation.
it's weird, but ultimately, eventually even the hype girl looses her hype.
contrary to belief, i'm not always chatty. i'm a self-acclaimed "extroverted introvert" actually.
i find peace in the silence. there's contentment there.
so it's important for me to find this. whether it be going for a run, taking a break to shut my eyes or soak in a view.
i've noticed myself losing some hype lately and knew I was in need of a reset before i slammed the brakes.
i'm grateful for this weekend to get that. i joined a workshop in sheridan, wyoming with a group of truly talented photographers. each come from different ways of life. have their own style of shooting. but together we came together for one goal, to learn.
it was a refreshing reminder that sometimes you just need that one-on-one interaction to ask the difficult questions; to meet your mentors and pick up some new tips; and to break out of your current comfort zone and try something different.
the busier your work life becomes, the less interesting your personal life can be. and with this, you can become very self isolated. and eventually, lose your thunder.
ages ago, i found my thunder completely wiped away from me. all the passionate and creativity gone. so i ran away from home and stumbled my way up the nearest mountain i could find in the rocky mountains. as i sat there overlooking the highest of views, i though to myself, "you can keep running away from your problems - but eventually, they'll just end up finding you again."
life has it's funny way of doing that, doesn't it?
you'll look out at the mountain and see it so clearly. you'll begin your hike with a steadfast mind and full heart. you'll climb and climb until you're halfway and the fog beneath you or the path disappears. if you can't see below, you have no choice but to keep going up of course. so you'll grab a drink of water and keep going. you'll think of every single possible detail of your life. the mishaps, the unfortunate circumstances. you'll smile at the good. and just when it feels like forever, you'll stumble upon the horizon as it begins to surface. there. that's what you waited for. and just as the light shines right down on you, a cloud appears and a subtle rain brushes against your skin like a light glimmer of hope.
there is power in pressing pause.
though reaching the summit is rewarding, the steps to your humbling view are just as important.
you know what i love amount the mountains?
they have this almighty way of making you feel a wide range of emotions. to feel angst. heartache. suffering.
but they also can help you heal.
where do you draw strength and solace amidst hardships, how do you turn fear into courage?
and just as the light shines right down on you, a cloud appears and a subtle rain brushes against your skin like a light glimmer of hope.
light, wherever it falls, has a quality that is unique because the thing in which it falls on is also inimitable.
and as you begin your trek down the mountain, a rainbow will appear before you.
there it is.
your sign to keep going.
your problems haven't gone away in the least, they're still there just the same.
but you'll keep moving.
because light never falls the same way twice. as we notice the light, we notice something else about ourselves. light and dark are universal.
just as joy, sorrow, hard work and rest are as well.
and just before you make it to the end, you'll discover a field of wildflowers, happily standing before you.
grateful for the light rain and another chance at today.
happy adventuring to you.
x
Alyssa
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